Saturday, March 19, 2011

yappidy yapp yapp

Day Two: Nine things about yourself.
1. I hold grudges. I hate it and I know that I shouldn't and I try not to, but I am a person that cannot let go of the past. I cannot forget or forgive people who have wronged me. Those wrongs are forever there, like a cloud that accumulates above somebodies heads, MY head. I can't help it. People may say that it's not that hard to not, that you can jjust let go of things and all that, but I have tried, I have tried for the majority of my life and I just can't.

2. I'm a bitch. Everyone thinks it. Everyone knows it. I know it. I hate it. But I can't stop doing what makes me me and in turn a bitch.

3. I hate pink. I hate dresses. I hate being a fucking girl. I should have been born a boy. I wish I had been.

4. I think too much. My mind doesn't turn off. It calculates trees for crashing into when driving. It analyses every situation and conversation. It replays things over and over and over making it worse and hurt even if it was months or years ago that it happened.

5. I am my own worst enemy.

6. I like songs for their lyrics. For what they do to me. I like them when they are good and most of the time somehow relevant to myself; I can relate it to something. Hence I have a wide range of music taste, so don't ever ask me what it is, there is none.

7. I cannot believe anything without proof. I need proof for everything. Health things. Scientific things. Math stuff. God stuff, it's why I can't believe. There is no proof. I am one who needs proof and reason and cause.

8. I'm very self conscious and shy. I can't say what I want or need to say when  I need to say it. Ever. I cannot confront people. I talk about it a lot. I DO a lot, in my head. But in reality I just can't.

9. I am broken hearted. Who you think would be the cause isn't. But I am still broken hearted. And b-h sucks </3

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