Maturity is fun -_-

So I'm sick of being angry.
It takes too much energy and makes me too self centered,
which cause me to do or not do things that hurt people that I care immensely about.
So I'm over it.
I will try and be civil if we run into each other,
I've deleted the pictures which I hadn't meant to get shown to people at the party, that was an accident.
I won't be friends with you, I can't do that, but I won't fight.
There is no point in it and it only cause too many people pain.



In relation to this slightly, I would like to make a very big apology to someone.
You know who you are.
I am sorry that things fell through, but trust me, there will be something when you hopefully least expect it, I will make it up to you.
As for my language I can't take that back, I can only work on holding on to my temper better and being more considerate in the future.
I need to take a leaf out of your book, because as you said, you DO put in all your effort to make people feel the center of attention and feel loved and I did the complete opposite of that to you.
I'm sorry.
I can't say that it won't happen again, but I can tell you that I will work my hardest to be more considerate and thoughtful about everything before I do or don't say or do anything in the future.
I love you <3
And I hope you enjoy your birthday party when it happens ;)

Little miss Smiles,
My thoughts are still with you, and I hope that no bad news comes from home about anyone.
I also hope that things at home get better and you are in less trouble soon <3

I am going to kill you.

Fucking slut.



yep I have never been so worried in my life.
you better fucking come home alive or I will kill you.

Oh the things I could type right now.

And my self control has lapsed.

If you were really sorry, you would have told me yourself instead of planning not to.
Just saying.
I'm not mad about it happening.

I'm mad about the way you went about it and your actions and lies after.

Can you leave me here alone now
I don't wanna hear you say
That you know me
That I should be
Always doin what you say

Cuz I'm tryin to get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I Don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
I won't let you bring me down
Cuz I know
I don't wanna think about you

Don't wanna think about you

When I wake up here tomorrow
Things will never be the same
Cuz I won't wait
Cuz you won't change
And you'll always be this way

Now I'm gonna get through today
And there's one thing I know

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
This time I won't let you bring me down
Won't let you shut me out
This time I know
I don't wanna think about you

Run away
Run away
Running as fast as I can
Run away
Run away
I'll never come back again
Run away
Run away

Don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out
Don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna talk this one out

I don't wanna think about you
Think about me
Don't wanna figure this out (figure this out)
I don't wanna think about you
Or think about nothin
Don't wanna talk this one out
This time I won't let you bring me down (bring me down)
Won't let you shut me out (shut me out)
This time I know
I don't wanna think about you

Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you
Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you
Run away
Run away
I don't wanna think about you

I love working with books.
Even if there are shitty customers or back pains,
It makes everything pretty much go away to a tiny place in the back of my head.
I'm in love with my job.
Totes gonna marry it <3

I want this book so fucking bad! I was going to get it today but I had to sell it :(
So now mine is on order ^_^


*And so the soothsayer said to her, "You will hang, bloody and scun, from the powerlines. Suspended by your vaginal flaps."*

I should be a thriller author.

peace

So it feels good to be finished with school.
I don't know if it's the same for everyone,
but I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'm genuinely happy.
For the first time since before I can remember.
There is no stress with teachers or playground drama.
No worries about tests and that feeling the opposite of accomplishment from never doing anything.
There are no worries.

On top of this I got a job, finally :)
I literally walked out of my interview with the goofiest grin on my face and made one of those little major excited squeee's you get, while walking down the street.
I might have even skipped a little bit.
And after the first pay went in?
Oh my god.
It feel so good to be able to rely on myself again.
And to be able to pay my mum back for the few things I had to ask for her help with.
It is amazing the self-fulfillment you can get, just from having an income.

I am rambling on, but I haven't written a blog in forever, so I'm just going to cause I'm on a role and avoiding sleep. This is your warning :P

Schoolies was awesome :)
I am the goon queen.
And I am very proud of that fact ^_^ even though I probably shouldn't be..
but I don't care, cause I had fun!
And I have a new found love for tequila shots :P
And fucking hate barcardi. So glad I didn't have what J had on that trip.
That week, was the best week of my life.
Everything began that week.
It signalled the end of school.
I got my job that week.
I let go.
I feel like an entirely new person after that trip.
It's like I was reborn, and yes it would have happened without it as well, but it is symbolic to me now.
I just let go.
Let go, had fun, relaxed; I found my Hakuna Matata.
Prime example, I didn't even move a muscle when my car got dented.
THAT is saying something.

Honestly,
I have the best job in the world.
The greatest friends that I love to absolute death;
I don't know what I would do without them.
You guys are my world,
My rocks,
My anchors,
My gravity. <------ LOL the twilight imprinting reference that flew through my head when I typed this!
I love you <3
I have the most amazing dog that I would do anything for, and if that other dog today actually went at you man, well fuck I would have died before he got you without a fight. I don't give a shit how big of a boxer he was. I would have fought him the fuck away and killed that bitch no matter the damage.
I have a mother that I've only began to truely appreciate this past year.
But love all the more for it.
I can tell her anything, and do, without even meaning to.
She's brilliant :)

OO! I finally made a bolognaise that I'm soooo so proud of! it was amazing! finally one that is in league with my brother and fathers :) So happy!
And I learnt this week how to make lasagna by myself :)
AND I got DB, DBZ, DBGT, plus the movies.
Which I can play through our tv.

On top of all this, I've had the greatest nights out with my beautiful Wifey.
Who happens to be the most persistent person about 'hot potatos'.
You're the most fucking cutest, adorable thing ever!!!
Honestly I think I get just as cutied out inside as you do! lol
Thankyou for a brilliant week away.
Thankyou for pushing/tripping me over a few steps the other day.
Thankyou for dessi'ing.
Thankyou for being you.
And thankyou for taking it into account when I asked you to stop what was irritating me so much.
I appreciate that so much.
I love you <3

I love all of you I call my friends.
Ace gang, councellors, ninjatic, dbz, slushy runs, books, nerves, step up. Everybody.

I really do hope that everyone comes to the sense of peace and achievement that I have come to.
Because it feels amazing.
Life is just amazing now.

This is what I've been waiting for.
This is the rest of my life.