baby you're back!

You killed what was left

Of the best part of me;

The only small glow

In this cave I have become.

You changed my life,

And left me to fade

Away into the dying sun.

Why you left me here;

Alone and drenched in misery,

I’ll never pick out

Of your now foreign mind.

You’ve changed too much,

Moved on and forward,

While I’m stuck here in this endless bind.

As my mind spirals down
And my soul begins its descent,
I watch in abject horror
As its surface rapidly implodes.
I’m gone now, too far.
The damage is done,
My life force erodes,
And my essence is consumed,
By the very sun which gave me life.



Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
I had to find you, tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart

Tell me your secrets and ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh, take me back to the start

I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

But tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard
I'm going back to the start

Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Ah ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh
Oh ooh, ooh ooh ooh ooh

I'm getting sick of songs relating exactly to my life with every lyric.

it still feels too far gone to come back :(

Step one you say we need to talk
He walks you say sit down it's just a talk
He smiles politely back at you
You stare politely right on through
Some sort of window to your right
As he goes left and you stay right
Between the lines of fear and blame
You begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Let him know that you know best
Cause after all you do know best
Try to slip past his defense
Without granting innocence
Lay down a list of what is wrong
The things you've told him all along
And pray to God he hears you
And pray to God he hears you

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

As he begins to raise his voice
You lower yours and grant him one last choice
Drive until you lose the road
Or break with the ones you've followed
He will do one of two things
He will admit to everything
Or he'll say he's just not the same
And you'll begin to wonder why you came

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life
How to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend
Somewhere along in the bitterness
And I would have stayed up with you all night
Had I known how to save a life
How to save a life

goodbye, my only friend.

So I don't know if any of this can be fixed. I don't know if I can move past what I am feeling now, even after we tried to work it out I still feel the exact same way. I still hurt. And I will hurt either way so the two of you should be happy together, because you do both deserve it. And I do want the both of you to be happy, because I do love you both. You have both been my best friends through some of the toughest times of my life, and you, you have been there through them all. I wish we could get past this. And maybe one day we can. But right now, I don't think I can deal with being there to watch what you deserve to happen. So I'm sorry, but I think this has to be goodbye. At least for now.
I love you <3 I'm sorry.
Lyrics are the only way I can truely express the way I am feeling, so it's lyrics you will get.

It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(If I could take all the shame to the grave I would)
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

[Chorus]
It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

It's easier to run
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made)
It's easier to go
(If I could change I would take back the pain I would)
(Retrace every wrong move that I made I would)
(If I could stand up and take the blame I would)
(I would take all my shame to the grave)

[Mike:]
This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something's empty within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it, let it all disappear

[Chester:]
Waiting for the end to come
Wishing I had strength to stand
This is not what I had planned
It's out of my control
Flying at the speed of light
Thoughts were spinning in my head
So many things were left unsaid
It's hard to let you go

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

Sitting in an empty room
Trying to forget the past
This was never meant to last
I wish it wasn't so

I know what it takes to move on
I know how it feels to lie
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got

[Mike:]
What was left when that fire was gone
I thought it felt right but that right was wrong
All caught up in the eye of the storm
And trying to figure out what it's like moving on
And I don't even know what kind of things I said
My mouth kept moving and my mind went dead
So I'm picking up the pieces, now where to begin
The hardest part of ending is starting again

[Chester(till end):]
All I want to do
Is trade this life for something new
Holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got
I'm holding on to what I haven't got

[Mike:]
This is not the end, this is not the beginning
Just a voice like a riot rocking every revision
But you listen to the tone and the violent rhythm
Though the words sound steady something's empty within them
We say yeah with fists flying up in the air
Like we're holding onto something that's invisible there
Cause we're living at the mercy of the pain and the fear
Until we dead it, forget it let it all disappear

(It starts with one)
One thing I don't know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To explain in due time
All I know
time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down to the end of the day
The clock ticks life away
It’s so unreal
Didn’t look out below
Watch the time go right out the window
Trying to hold on but didn’t even know
Wasted it all just to
Watch you go

I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn't even matter

One thing, I don’t know why
It doesn’t even matter how hard you try
Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme
To remind myself how
I tried so hard
In spite of the way you were mocking me
Acting like I was part of your property
Remembering all the times you fought with me
I’m surprised it got so (far)
Things aren’t the way they were before
You wouldn’t even recognize me anymore
Not that you knew me back then
But it all comes back to me
In the end

You kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart
What it meant to me will eventually be a memory of a time when I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter

I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I've put my trust in you
Pushed as far as I can go
For all this
There’s only one thing you should know
I tried so hard
And got so far
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter
I had to fall
To lose it all
But in the end
It doesn’t even matter



What happened to you and me?
One moment changed everything
It's done and there's no way to take it back
Mistake gave me the pain I never had
There is no way to justify it so
Now I breathe in
(and let it go)

[Chorus]
This is the end of everything
Goodbye, my only
I hang my head and I give in
Goodbye, my only friend

Part of me I'll never see
Come visit me in my dreams
I feel my actions are destroying me
Deep down below the shallow life I lead
This pain is mine to keep and call my own
I'll carry it
(until I'm gone)

[Chorus]
This is the end of everything
Goodbye, my only
I hang my head and I give in
Goodbye, my only friend

I can't forgive myself that I let go
My life is worth no more than yours, I know

[Chorus]
This is the end of everything
Goodbye, my only
I hang my head and I give in
Goodbye, my only
(This is the end)
This is the end of everything
Goodbye, my only
(I hang my head)
I hang my head and I give in
Goodbye, my only friend!

I have really got to stop spending my days off laying in bed thinking and ending up in tears again.







I'd much prefer a triangle. Triangles have definitive points and only one person gets hurt. Triangles don't collapse, there is a promise that at least someone will be happy.
Squares, if you fall into a square, it will break down into itself and implode. Every corner gets hurt. There is no structure. No definites. No way for some segment to end up fully happy and the others know where they stand. Squares can move and change shape and angle, there is no structure that makes it stay the way it is forever.
Squares end only in pain.
And this is what happens on my days off when the weather is too shit to go for a fucking massive run.

and it all falls apart

I'm sorry you feel that way.
And I'm sorry I haven't been there for you the past few months like I wish I had been.
I love you, if anything happens like my dream last night, I don't know what I'll do.
I hope you are ok, I don't know what has happened and I likely won't but I do want you to be happy with life and I hate when you are not.
I'm sorry.

~~~~~~


So much for things getting fixed and better :(
Think I might just drive and never stop.

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they're chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they're finding me out
I just wanna run

I just wanna run
I'm out here all alone
I try to call your house
Can't reach you on the phone
I'll gather up the nerve
I'm packing up my bag
It's more than you deserve
Don't treat me like a drag

I'm feelin' like I keep on talking
I'm repeating
Myself, my words lost all meaning
I keep talking
I repeat myself___

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they're chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they're finding me out
I just wanna run (run, run, run)
I just wanna run (run, run, run)

Like a game of chess
I predict your move
I think I know you better
Better than you do
I'm sick of feeling cheap
Cheated and abused
Sick of losing sleep
Thinking about you

I'm feelin' like I keep on talking
I'm repeating
Myself, my words lost all meaning
I keep talking
I repeat myself___

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they're chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they're finding me out
I just wanna run (run, run, run)
I just wanna run (run, run, run)

I've seen a man cry, I've seen a man shout out
Afraid of losing the woman he loves
I've seen a woman lying to her man flat out
About who she's beddin' with and where she was

I've seen a low fire and tried to figure it out
This fighting isn't going anywhere
I've seen a child's eyes watching his parents freak out
I know they see him but they just don't care

It won't stop if they don't stop yelling
It's not the way of working your problems out
I can't stand being around this yelling
So I'm finding my way out

I'm gonna drive and never ever slow down
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown
Packing my things and getting out of this town
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown

I've seen a child's eyes, I've seen him living in doubt
Not ever knowing what it's like to be in love
I've seen his friends try nd just to help him get out
He never told them what the problem really was

I've seen a suicide they couldn't figure it out
He blamed himself because they couldn't get along
I've seen his parents' eyes trying to figure it out
Where did our baby go and what went wrong?

It won't stop if they don't stop yelling
It's not the way of working your problems out
I can't stand being around this yelling
So I'm finding my way out

I'm gonna drive and never ever slow down
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown
Packing my things and getting out of this town
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown

I'm gonna drive until I breakdown
Hold it inside until I breakdown
Not gonna try until I breakdown
Say my goodbyes until I breakdown
Baby, come on

I'm gonna drive and never ever slow down
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown
Packing my things and getting out of this town
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown

I'm gonna drive and never ever slow down
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown
Packing my things and getting out of this town
I'm gonna drive until I breakdown

I'm gonna drive until I breakdown
Hold it inside until I breakdown

we can't back down. I won't.

We can't
We can't back down (x4)

Not right now
We can't back down
Not right now
We can't back down
We can't back down

Don't close your eyes
We're all in this together
Wherever we draw the line
We're not gonna straddle across it
Or lose it

We can't back down
There's too much at stake
This is serious
Don't walk away
We can't pretend it's not happening
In our backyard
Our own home plate
(No way)
We've been called out
(We've been called out)
Do you hear your name?
(Yeah)
I'm not confused
Let's win this thing
(Let's do it)
We can't back down
There's too much at stake
Don't walk away
Don't walk away, yeah

Don't get me wrong
I don't like confrontation
I'd rather we all just get along
Music should be undivided, united

We can't back down
There's too much at stake
This is serious
Don't walk away
We can't pretend it's not happening
In our backyard
Our own home plate
(No way)
We've been called out
(We've been called out)
Do you hear your name?
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com
(Yeah)
I'm not confused
Let's win this thing
(Let's do it)
We can't back down
There's too much at stake
Don't walk away
Don't walk away, yeah

We got a situation that we can't ignore
'Cause ignorance is not bliss
We don't have to take this, no
With every big decision
Comes an equally important share of the risk
We gotta take this

We can't back down
There's too much at stake
This is serious
Don't walk away
We can't pretend it's not happening
In our backyard
Our own home plate
We've been called out
Do you hear your name?
I'm not confused
Let's win this thing
We can't back down
There's too much at stake
Don't walk away
Don't walk away, yeah
We can't back down

We can't back down
Not right now

honest to god this is bullshit and way to out of hand and fucking stupid.
are we not allowed to just accept things have happened, move on, stop blaming others, accept our mistakes and fucking forget about thsi shit?!
because we are all hurting each other right now way too much and too much damage has been down it's fucking stupid.

We can't back down

I'm so sorry. I should just leave and it would all go away.

I am so sorry.
I'm sorry that when I try to help I make things a trillion times worse.
I'm sorry that I've caused you boys to lose an entire extended family segment from your lives,
and mum, I'm sorry I've caused you to lose them as well.
I'm sorry that you might as well not have a brother or godsons or anything anymore, at least "not while Sophie is living under the same roof as you".
I'm sorry that you changed who my godfather was.
Because I'd rather the old one I've never met any day.
Gran and Pa, I'm so so sorry that I've torn our family apart.
That, because of me, there will never again be family get togethers, not with us all.
I'm so sorry you might lose the farm.
And stand a chance of losing your son and daughter.
Just fuck.
I can't do anything right.
I finally take a stand the right way, in person, and for it, I am never able to see my cousins again.
You can go to hell.
And you can perish under the resentment you will gain from your children over the years.

Why is it that I envy thee?

For these so sinful ways.

My eyes glow green,

They’re turning brighter than these blinding days.

This feeling only grows within,

Soul racked with jealousy.

It shouldn’t be existent,

Nor my clearest memory.

I worry for these things you do,

These things which make you feel.

However it is these such things,

Which make my envy real.

Once something has changed,

Can it ever again be the same?

Can things ever build back up,

To where they once were?

Or once it has changed,

Is it just doomed to be different

Ever after?

Would the new things alter the old?

Destroying their chances of revival.

Survival.

Once the new has replaced the old,

Its purpose is lost.

It can try to be what it once was,

Strive so enviously for acceptance.

But when all is lost,

Replaced,

It is useless, old and broken.

Left in the corner of the floor,

To naught be needed again.

You know,

You said you’d always be there for me;

You’d do anything for me;

We’re best friends.

But where were you when I needed you?

Where were you when the shit hit the fan and I had nobody?

Why weren’t you where you always used to be?

There.

Because of her right?

You got over your stuff for me and onto stuff for her and BAM!!

I DON’T MATTER ANYMORE!!

I don’t see how that is being there;

Doing anything;

Being my best friend.

Only stabbing me in the back and ripping my heart open and soul to pieces.

But I guess I should have seen this coming,

It happens every single time.

I suppose I’ll just stay best-friend-less,

Because you obviously don’t need me anymore.

I miss my poems. I miss them so so much. But it seems I really can't write them anymore. To think how much easier it would be to deal with all this if I still had that outlet.

If you want to work things out don't do it through here. It's all we have ever done and you had the opportunity to through the inbox. Yeah we might scream at each other for a while like he and I did all day, but that's what happens. Running and avoiding it will only make things a million times worse.
Any consolation, I don't even know why I am mad and upset. I just am.

Oceans and tears
and rivers of fears
are taking my heart beat away

the currents and tides
those fluctuous rides
are perpetually making me sway

I can’t help but think
if I didn’t such as blink
that this would not have occurred

And that way’d be fine
cause you’d both still be mine
and my eyesight would no longer be blurred

it’s always my way
when I just find my lay
in the land I just go fuck it up

it’s stupid and crude
and my mind is so rude
but I guess all I’ve got now is my pup L

please don't haunt my dreams.
please let me sleep.

Oh, why? That's what I keep askin'
Was there anything I could have said or done?
Oh, I had no clue you were masking
A troubled soul, God only knows what went wrong
And why you'd leave the stage in the middle of a song

Oh, why? There's no comprehending
And who am I to try to judge or explain?
Oh, but I do have one burning question
Who told you life wasn't worth the fight?
They were wrong, they lied, and now you're gone, and we cried








you'll sing this at my funeral

They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
With a pink hotel, a boutique
And a swinging hot spot

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got til its gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

They took all the trees
And put 'em in a tree museum
And they charged the people
A dollar and a half to seem 'em

Don't it always seem to go,
That you don't know what you've got
Til its gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

Hey farmer farmer
Put away the DDT
I don't care about spots on my apples
Leave me the birds and the bees
Please!

Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Til its gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot
Hey, now they paved paradise
To put up a parking lot
Why not?

Listenin' late last night
I heard the screen door slam
And a big yellow taxi
Took my girl away
Now, don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you've got
Til its gone
They paved paradise
And put up a parking lot

Hey now, now
Don't it always seem to go
That you don't know what you got
Til its gone
They paved paradise
To put up a parking lot

I don't want give it
Why you want give,
Why you want give it all away?
Hey hey hey
Now you want give it,
Ah she want to give it
Cause she givin' it all away
Now now now

Hey pave paradise
Put up a parking lot

I don't know how you do it.

I wish you would make things easier and simpler, instead of double crossing and fucking things 3 times as bad.

love hate

Loving helping.
Loving standing my ground for those I love.
Loving people I love being happy.
Hating people I love being sad.
Hating people I used to love being c***s.
Hating the green eyed monster.
Hating worry.
Hating anxiety.
Loving my wife.
Loving that I can make a difference.
Loving that I can give advice to people that seems to work.
Loving that right now is such a 180 from this time last year.
Loving my friends, all of them.
Loving my dog, and my dads dogs, and Bek's dogs and cat, and Brock's cat, and pretty much just animals lol.
Loving being past being pissed at my brother.
Loving that I'm one step closer to overcoming my fear.
Hating that I still have too many steps to go.
Hating that I have to work thursday.
Loving that I can party hard thursday night.
Hating that my belly bars didn't arrive.
Hating that sometimes there is nothing I can do to help.
Hating that families can be so cruel and blind.
Hating what sunday night had to come to.
Pretty much yeah, I dunno, it started like this and it continued like this in this format so that's what you guys have got.
2011 was good, there were some horrible things that happened, but also some amazing things that happened. We all completely our HSC and deserve to be proud of doing that, because not everyone can.
2012 we may die, I wouldn't be surprised if we do, but that's no reason to be depressed, or reckless, or dwell on things. It's a reason to live life to it's fullest, which is what we should do every day no matter the date or year. This is our year to shine guys, and shine my bloody oath we will <3