This is not what I had planned, it's out of my control...

So my HSC is pretty much screwed by just this term.
I've royally effed it up already and I know I could get my head in the game and get going good and proper but I just can't find the motivation, even the concept of doing well to get a good career to get money for the amazing cars I want isn't working. I just can't be stuffed with any of it anymore.
And my chances of doing decent are dwindling rapidly with my inaction towards assessments etc.
My mind is just retarded.
When I need it to do one thing, it does the opposite.
When I need to study I can't and back in the day I could.
When I need to be able to make decisions and be independent I can't manage it.
When I need to be strong I depend on others.
I just can't do it.
This ditch is currently too bloody deep and thorn ridden, not to mention the flooding and mud and sludge.
It is impossible to get out, even with the help I have.
I just hope one day I will before I keep pulling everyone in with me and ruin them as well.

I'm repeating this image because I feel the need. Well I don't I was just compelled to add it again because I love it so much and all that jazziness and stuff. I can't help it being me, dress or not.