this lack of self control I fear is never ending.

You instill an amount of hate inside of me that I cannot quench.
And anger.
And just this feeling of helplessness that I can do nothing about what the fuck you have done.
I can normally control these feelings when I have to, when I have no choice with the person they are against.
But you?
You are SO bad it has slipped.
And I cannot regain it.
I'm angry and shaking all the time.
I'm murderous.
First you tried to ruin my mother.
And now you're doing the same fucking shit with me.
And the worst part?
I can't do anything about it!
Because you are you.
And you have the power.
And they would never believe me over you.
Why would they?
They can't see what you're actually like.
You managed to turn some of mums close alliances against her.
And just look at what you've done to me.
You. Are. The devil.

She used to believe that I had so much potential.
That she would put me in the position you now have in the blink of an eye if I were old enough and out of school.
She trusted me after a month with things only the top of the food chain should know and have responsibility of.

And now?
She can't even write me a god damn letter she wrote in a day for another!
IT'S BEEN 2 FUCKING MONTHS!
I found the emails.
The way you twist things so she thinks worse of me.
The way that you have her thinking of me as a stupid, annoying little junior again.
That she can't even have the decency to write me a refernce letter so I can go and get another job.

Fuck. You.

When I am done here, and my oath it's going to be ASAP, if I ever see you again, do not expect peace and friendliness and my being polite.
You should expect what I have been wanting to say and do to you for almost a year.
Because there will be nothing stopping me after.
I don't give a fuck if I go over the top and end up beating you to a pulp or killing you.

So yeah, sorry guys I needed to vent.
And still it has done nothing and I am still shaking >:[
Fucks sake I'm going to kill her one day.
No, that's right.
I'm going to maim her beyond belief.
That would be harder for her than death.