Change is coming...

I don't like change.

I never have.

It means difference, adjustment, strength; an open mind.

Change is coming.

Change is here.

I'm on

And I don't like it.

I'm finding this entire thing-entire things-very hard to deal with.

Very emotional.

Very distressing.

More so than it should be.

I shouldn't be letting it get me down like I have.

But it's hard, and I have never taken change well.

I have never welcomed it.

I have never dealt well with it; with faith, with change.

I need to let go of my stubbornness and just do what I have to without this attitude.

But then that means changing and facing the future head on.

I don't know if I can do that.

There's more than just the main thing.

There's worry.

Worry about myself,

My friendships falling apart and my inability to fix them,

Worry about my friends and what's worrying them,

Worry about the future,

Worry about the past,

Worry about things that I have no say in and cannot do anything to change.

But I still worry.

And that word, that thing, 'change' keeps coming up.

I have to just

Believe that things will work out.

Believe that things will get better and improve.

Believe that things will get easier.

Believe in myself... and others.

I have to just believe in life.

We all do.

Believe that we can do this year and do it well I guess.

And get through all the things that are getting us down.

All the things that are bothering us.

All the things that we have to fix or move on from.

God this is getting bloody philosophical ><

I just hate change.

But I have no choice but to believe in it.

halle-fucking-lujah.

-_-