You can't break the broken..

You say you know just who I am
But you can't imagine
What waits for you across the line
You thought you had me
But I'm still here standing
And I'm tired of backing down

And I'm here now feeling the pain
Of a thousand hearts
Been to hell and back again
I won't take this

You try so hard to bring me down
You can't break the broken
You still don't seem to understand
It's your turn to see just
How it feels to be me
How it feels to be knocked down

And you're here now feeling the pain
Of a thousand hearts
You've been to hell and back again
You can't take this

Remember
This feeling

How it feels to be alive
Now you see me through my eyes
And we're here now feeling the beat
Of a thousand hearts
Coming back to life again
We can make it

Remember
This feeling
Remember...

This you can do.
You can make it through.
I love you <3

I wanna walk your wavelength..

I so love this song <3

Pity it doesn't have a film clip yet though ><

I wonder

Do you ever wonder?

Do you ever feel?

Do you ever sit and question

whether things are truely real?

If everybody wondered

If everybody felt

If everybody questioned

well I do think that would help

But what do we wonder?

But what do we feel?

But what do we question

if it is or ain't real?

I don't think it matters

I don't think it cares

I don't think it questions

'what are their affairs?'

So go ahead and wonder

Go ahead and feel

Go ahead and question

whether things are truely real

hmmmmmmmmmm typing and things just happen.

got no idea what they mean

what they're about

just typing to type a blog and stuff comes out

could be about life

or philosphy

or friends and relationships

all that you see

I'm dead tired and bored

I'm sore and in pain

I'm over these holidays

but don't want school to start again

I hate pushy people

they push that they 'care'

that they just want to help you

and they are always there

just yipping and yapping

'don't make my mistakes'

I'll just make my own thanks

I'll make my own stakes.

Just really, I'm tired, I'm exhausted, I'm over everything, expecially school and it's shit, I'm over pressure that repeatedly gets hammered in and hammered in over and over, 'just stick your head down and tail up' is your answer to fucking everything. No. Study and doing well will not make everything ok. So just drop it please? I'm sick of it so fucking bad.

I just wanna run...

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they're chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they're finding me out
I just wanna run

I just wanna run
I'm out here all alone
I try to call your house
Can't reach you on the phone
I'll gather up the nerve
I'm packing up my bag
It's more than you deserve
Don't treat me like a drag

I'm feelin' like I keep on talking
I'm repeating
Myself, my words lost all meaning
I keep talking
I repeat myself___

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they're chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they're finding me out
I just wanna run (run, run, run)
I just wanna run (run, run, run)

Like a game of chess
I predict your move
I think I know you better
Better than you do
I'm sick of feeling cheap
Cheated and abused
Sick of losing sleep
Thinking about you

I'm feelin' like I keep on talking
I'm repeating
Myself, my words lost all meaning
I keep talking
I repeat myself___

I just wanna run, hide it away
Run because they're chasing me down
I just wanna run, throw it away
Run before they're finding me out
I just wanna run (run, run, run)
I just wanna run (run, run, run)

 

Awesome song, awesome band :)

Things to be happy about :)

A shout out to my buddy Brooke :)
Your blog cheered me up when I needed it, so now I'm doing one for you :) well however it works anyway lol, I love you <3

 Think of a hot bubble bath

-free lunch

-cuddling with whom you love

-a walk on the beach in that perfect weather

-getting your hair done

-tanning and reading a nice book

 Remember how it feels to write poetry

-to get and earn an A

-dancing

-buying a new outfit

-new shoes

-painting your toenails and trying on perfume

-cotton candy and love letters

Imagine slipping around the floor in your socks

-getting that look

-that kiss

-that smile

-that feeling as that first sip of hot chocolate slides down your throat

-relaxing in a bath with candlelight and a good book

-a soothing massage

 There's your favourite song

-push up bras

-poetry

-a good movie

-hearing "I love you"

-butterflies

-holidays

 Those cute little toddlers you see down the street that just make you awww

-the last day of school

-the feeling as you finish your last exam and walk out that door

-hot home made chocolate chip cookies

-and the mixture before hand

 -new shoes

-shopping

-love

 -a puppy

-a kitten

-just cute little animals ^-^

I thought these were the cutest, coolest cupcakes ever!

-a wedding

-holding a (sensible) baby

-a grinning face

-comedians :)



I LOVE YOU!

I hope thinking of some of these things made you smile :) just like yours did for me and everyone else who read it, and hopefully this as well :)

Sometimes things in life are hard and we aren't ok, and that's ok. That's when your friends are there to keep you strong and remind you how amazing you are :) <3

Next time you point a finger I'll point you to the mirror.

I can't make my own decisions
Or make any with precision
Well maybe you should tie me up
So i don't go where you don't want me
You say that i've been changing
That i'm not just simply Ageing
Well how could that be logical?
Just keep on craming ideas down my throat
Woah

You don't have to believe me
But the way I, way I see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
And break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror

If Gods the game that you're playing
Well we must get more aquainted
Because it has to be so lonely to be the only one who's holy
It's just my humble opinion but it's one that i believe in
You don't deserve a point of view
If the only thing you see is you
Woah

You don't have to believe me
But the way i, way i see it

Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror

This is the last second chance
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm half as good as it gets
(I'll point you to the mirror)
I'm on both sides of the fence
(I'll point you to the mirror)
Without a hint of regret i'll hold you to it

I know you don't believe me
But the way i, way i see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror

I know you won't believe me
But the way i, way i see it
Next time you point a finger i might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger i'll point you to the mirror.

So yeah lately things have been getting better, apologies have been made and accepted, second chances given, all that jazz. But I can't do something like this another time and get over it, it was hard enough to this time. Hard enough to with the amount of people wanting me not to as well.

Yeah we're good :) but next time I'm not sure if I can do it.

These holidays have been interesting. There's been the drama and crap, that made them just fly and made me ask "Where the hell did theese holidays go?"

One second it was christmas/new year, the next it was the second last week.

Just like that.

So homework I still have to do, joy to the fucking world >_<

But yeah, you, meeting you, getting to know you, getting close to you, you got me through this stuff.

So did other you :) If it weren't for you guys I would have crashed and massively burned, I almost did anyway what with my mapping that happened.

But yeah, I want to thank you guys :)

And you. You. You. You.

I changed my mind from hating you for a bit.

Was quite strange but good.

I wanted to believe that you weren't who you used to be anymore.

But you proved me wrong.

So you.

Fuck you.

Just know, I am back to hating you.

And I will stay that way.

Oh it's time to let it go...

Oh, it's time to let it go

The world's got a funny way of turning 'round on you
When a friend tries to stab you right in the face
Losing faith in everything I thought I hoped I knew
Don't sweat it, {it was} set on false pretense

Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn't seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
Cu-cu-cu-cuz you know...

It's sacrifice
False pretense you're letting go
Stop pretending to deny
False pretense you're letting

All along you know you thought you got the best of me
{But} you were wrong and I'm laughing right in your face
I cannot believe you claimed you were my family
Don't sweat it - it's set on false pretense

Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
And it doesn't seem likely to fade
Betrayed but not gonna be willing to change
Cu-cu-cu-cuz you know...

It's sacrifice
False pretense you're letting go

Stop pretending to deny
False pretense you're letting go

{Guitar}

Oh, it's time to let it go

I can't seem to understand it how you turned out to be so cold
You tried but were caught red handed, are you happy with your role?
It's funny to me how you've turned into such a joke...

It's sacrifice
False pretense you're letting go

Stop pretending to deny
False pretense you're letting go

So play the game until you run out
And play the game into my hand

Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, I fucking love you guys <3 you're songs help me out when no one else can and they're always there with the answers :)

I miss you, I fucking love you

I can't do this again.
I can't do this again.
I can't do this again.
I can't do this again.
I don't even know what 'this' is.
But right now, my gut does not feel right. And I don't like it.
I don't even know what 'this' is.
Any of it. I don't even know the 'any'.

Few nights ago, I wrote this for my dog Gizmo, rest his awesome soul.
You would have been 16 on new year buddy, I hope you had fun barking at all the fireworks up there for me, I miss the hell out of you. It's just empty. Never had no pets. Ever. And now, that hole, well I only recently, past few months, have noticed how bad it is. Fucking love you Gizmo <3

Always in our hearts

Forever in our souls

The dearest dog of all

Our love for you still holds

We'll miss you month by month

Through every future year
The gap your loss has opened

Doesn't heal, we shed our tear

But we know that you live on

Float in the clouds and guide our way

Incessant barking echoes on

And that's the way it's going to stay

<3

I will never, ever forget you.

I love you Gizmo, miss you, you little annoying terror :') <3